Another Piece | It's Mine Anyway

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I had thoughts like 'I don't want other people to notice my hard work'. That means I don't want people to think that I worked that hard to achieve this or that. You can think I'm weird, but that's me. 'What kind of thoughts do people think when they see me working hard?' And the word 'pathetic' comes to my mind. I know it can be an illusion, but still, I hate it. That's why I've never worked so hard on things. And maybe because of the mindset I have, I've never wanted things so bad in the past. But, when I see other people working hard, all I can think of is 'awesome', I know I'm not being fair to myself. 

Now, I realize that this is my life--for me. And no one can take it from me. They have their own, for some greedy people they can take someone else's life, I won't let them take mine. I will work very hard for the things I want without thinking about other people's opinions. Whether it will succeed or fail, I will not think about it. Everything has its reasons. Everything will fall apart, and it will be rebuilt even stronger. That's for me, not to me.

Another thing, I know helping people is a good thing. But some people always take it for granted, whether they realize it or not. You know, when you feel responsible for some aspect of someone's life just because you have some abilities that they don't have, it will haunt you. You will feel really attached to the person, you will help with whatever they ask, and you will not realize that this drains your energy. Because of this feeling too, the ability you have, instead of being grateful, you just hope that you don't have that ability, you'll think it's better to be stupid or not have any abilities. That's the old me. I won't be like that again. I will be person who always want to have many abilities. 

Therefore, now it is up to me to help or not. Either I'll cut it when I know, or I feel as if they take it for granted. It's mine anyway, my life.

You can tell me that I am selfish. Then how about you? Will you allow toxic people and toxic thoughts to drain your energy? Are you going to let that vampire energy consume you? I won't let those kinds of things drain me anymore. So I hope you don't either. But that's your life. You can choose whatever you want. 

Don't think about me or other people. 

Think yours. 

I know it's hard because you don't want to hurt them, and you don't want to feel sorry for them. But just for a moment, help yourself first. 

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